I'm on the Executive Board on our PTA at the girl's school. Since we moved in town right before school started, I didn't have any position, much less a board position. I loved being on the Exec. Board at Green Valley and being so involved...we got a say in what was going on at our school, but as the volunteer coordinator, I was so stinkin' busy. That is one thing that I don't miss completely about moving. You get to start over...kinda.
I don't know a ton of people at the kids school...I mean, there are almost 900 kids in the school. That makes for a lot of volunteers. But for some reason, someone dropped off the executive board and they found me and asked me to be the new Council Delegate. Cool. Makes you feel pretty good. Okay, just a little. Council Delegate is a great board position. I have a friend that does it with me and we have a great time together. Abby and I go to the Council PTA meetings and the school board meetings (once a month, sometimes every other month) and then we report back to our Executive Board what we (or they) discussed at the big meetings. That's it. And for that, we get a voting board position on our school's executive board. That means, the planning of the carnival, breakfast with Santa and the Auction. If we don't like fundraisers (ME!) we can let it be known and vote against the next fundraiser (I'm really good at that one!)
That is one of the real reasons that I'm glad to be on the board.
Okay, so on to my story.....We were in our meeting yesterday morning and our board secretary and her family are going to be transferred to San Diego at the end of the school year. She was clearly upset, as were the rest of us. You see, this part of Houston has a ton of people that have been transferred in by oil companies. It would be safe to say that over half our board members have been moved 5 or more times, you know, like us! Oh, did I mention that this mom is pregnant with her 5th child? Yeah, she is a rock star...so organized, always is ready to do something and her kids are so very polite. She is talking about the transfer and we are all consoling her and here is what comes out of my big mouth, "A little piece of you dies every time that you get transferred, doesn't it?" Selfish. I know. It's what I was thinking and it totally came out. She totally agreed, as did the rest of the table, but after I said it, I felt horrible. Here she is pregnant and facing moving with 4, almost 5, kids to California and I make a comment like that.
Yep. Open mouth, insert foot. I was telling Aaron what I did last night and then I think I just made him feel bad. I think it's just because when we got moved here, I felt like the company that won't be named, cut out a huge hunk of my heart out. It's not Aaron's fault. He is doing great with his job, he loves what he is doing and we are all happy and healthy. God always has a plan...I may not see it right now, but I will be able to look back in 20 years with Aaron and say, "Wow...remember when God moved us to Houston? That was a great move with great friends and family!" It's happening now. His plan. And He is healing my heart, slowly....I just need to learn to keep my selfish comments about how I am feeling to myself and help comfort someone else who needs support, not worries.
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8 comments:
Jenn, Honey, you were NOT out of line with what you said. In fact, in the Counseling World, your comment would be lauded as a great empathic response! You recognized and responded to an unspoken emotion: the loss you feel every time you uproot your family from well-loved friends. It doesn't mean you cannot be happy in the new spot; it just means you recognize what it take out of you each time it happens. In fact, I bet you'll end up being Chairman of the Parent Thingy because they will think to themselves at nomination and election time, "Jennifer Green has such INSIGHT!!" Don't be so hard on yourself, Girlfriend!! You're doing an awesome job and I'm enjoying following the Green family on their journeys. Love you all!! Judy Ring
When we left Knoxville, a very good friend made a scrapbook of our Bible study group friends.
On the front she put this quote that I think of often. "You never leave a place you love for you take a part of it with you while leaving a part of yourself behind."
What you said was true and I honestly think it wasn't selfish at all!! Hang in there!!
Jenn....
you are analyzing the situation. you didn't say anything wrong. promise.
leave it up to your baby sister to tell you the truth.
i wouldn't lie.
love you.
If you said that to me, I would have LOVED that someone REALLY knew how I was feeling and didn't just gloss over it with crap like, "Oh, you'll make new friends!" and "The kids will forget about [insert town name here] and be fine in no time!" It IS true that a bit of you dies each time, but as you know, God is there with us through it all. Knowing that His plan is the best one doesn't make it hurt any less at first, and I KNOW that God understands my heart and forgives my frequent lack of trust in that plan. You are a wonderful, honest friend!
And if you don't believe all of us, even your own sister for goodness sakes, just call this woman and ask if you can help with her kids as they get closer to move date. It will assauge any lingering guilt! (-:
Had I been that woman, I would have appreciated your insight and understanding of exactly how I was feeling. Although we have not moved as much as you, when we moved from Little Rock to Nashville, I felt the same way. I can now see what God had planned for us and I am thankful that he laid it on our hearts to make the move. I am glad that your heart is healing and I pray that God continues to offer glimmers on why he placed you right where you are :)
Okay, ya'll...I'm a puddle...I'll blog today (later, have to get the little one to school) about what happened last night at church. Thanks for the comments....They mean more than you could ever know. :)
I hear you about moving, but I agree with everyone in saying, sometimes the best comfort is knowing that someone else knows well enough what you're going through to put it into words so perfectly...
Jenn,
Better late than never and I won't repeat what your other commenters have all said so eloquently... You were on target and spoke from the heart... just one of the reasons I love you so much!
Steph
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