Let me start this post with this: I am not looking for sympathy nor anything of the sort, I am just typing what is in my head....maybe I just need a nap.
Growing up, I was born and raised in the same town and went to the same church until I was in the 9th grade and we moved away for 3 years for my dad to get his doctorate at FSU. It was great, I loved it, made great friends in Florida and we moved back my senior year to Searcy, AR....yadda, yadda, yadda. My child has not had the same experiences, yet....we have moved almost every year of her short little 6 year old life. Hopefully we are here for good (I love it and that is what they tell us...) but until this point, she has made friends and then we have to leave them. So, now we are here, where there are lots of little girls and she really has no good friends. This breaks my heart. I have had wonderful friends, since the day that they were all born (I'm the oldest of the kids in my class) from church and then I also got to go to school with them, growing up...
Grace is different. I have to give her that. She loves with every being in her body and she loves big. She is big...that is one of the reasons that we sent her on in school so that later on in middle school and high school, she wouldn't tower over them. We wanted to level out the playing field. I guess that is our fault, maybe we should have held her back, but she was ready to go to school and wanted to go... But, her loving sometimes is just too much. I don't think it should be but other kids don't want to be hugged and loved on and that is what she does. How do you tell a child that is sooo happy to have even someone her age talk to her, that she can't hug them because it scares them off? I just think that she gets so excited that she even has other little girls at church that will talk to her that she goes over the top...then of course, they are scared of the tall girl with the red hair that is going to hug them too hard. It's not their fault, I think I would be scared, too. She is a smart, funny and beautiful little girl but she is longing for a friend to do something with....almost to the point where I would shrink myself and be her friend if I could.
AKK! I just don't know how to handle it...Any suggestions? If anything else, just put her on your prayer list...and me too on how to handle her when she is disappointed or sad. Isn't this stuff supposed to happen when they are teenagers?
Oh, and don't comment (family, this is to you...) on the little girls at church. I know it is easy to blame the other kids, but they have all just been together for a while and Grace will have to find a way to be "Grace" and still be their friend. They are all super sweet little girls and haven't done anything mean or anything like that, I just think they could be a little scared of Grace and her "overpowering" hugs and love sometimes.
Journaling 12/8/24
1 year ago
7 comments:
Okay, we have to get Grace and Carley together! You just described Carley to perfection!!! She LOVES to hug and carry on and she's bigger than the other girls too.
I don't know why you expected anything less of your own daughter...you have always loved big too! I know where she gets it!
Her name is Grace, what do you expect? She will find her own way - don't look for it for her. We suffer our children's angst so much more than they do. I was 45 and my mom was still apologising for my difficult childhood. I didn't know I had a difficult childhood until she began telling me how sorry she was! Lyn was such a tomboy, with the exception of two girls, all her childhood friends were boys!
I wish you lived closer to me so I could enjoy those Grace hugs everyday! She'll find her way...with her loving personality and sweet smile...Shelllie is right...it's a James gene to love big!
Okay, I'm a puddle...and sweet Grace will find a place just right for her!
Hug her for her Nana!
yeah, thanks for making me really upset...
Jenn, don't analyze the situation too close.
She is the sweetest little girl, ever and has lots of time.
If you have taught her to love and hug and show her affection...you really can't blame yourself for doing anything wrong. You have only done right.
You're a great mom! She is going to be fine! My only experience is my 5 years teaching kindergarten and 2 teaching 2nd grade, but from what I know, she will be making so many friends this year that you won't be able to keep up with all of their names. She is so lucky to have such a mom as you!
Jenn,
I have never commented on a blog, so you know this must have gotten me GOOD. I just started reading blogs a few weeks ago and found yours through Mrs. Brownstones. I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to do this since I'm not a blogger myself!
I could have written this blog myself regarding my oldest one for pretty much the same reasons as you gave for Grace: Loving Big (i love how you worded that) being herself and not conforming (i love that about her) etc... You know it too I bet. My heart aches b/c I know this pain by it's first name ~ But in a strange way seeing it written from you brings me some peace.
Not because misery loves company :) but because I know how much we adore Grace and enjoy her and most importantly how much my girls love and enjoy her.
You can laugh at this, but I have also engaged in self-talk asking myself what would YOU do? (yes, specifically you) My response to myself? Not worry about it, Jenn is so laid back, I need to be more like her. She doesn't care what anyone else thinks. She is so comfortable in her own skin and so are her kids.....
I have been so worried and self absorbed in our own trouble (very similar to this) that I neglected to see that you were dealing with the same issue. I apologize for that. God is good to show me this and gently remind me to turn my focus on others.
Bottom line: our big girls (as well as our little ones) get along great and I need to invite her over more often. Shame on me!
I love you and I'm so thankful you are here to stay. Let's schedule a playdate asap!
steph
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