I will admit right here on this blog in front of everyone that I was not the most respectful teenager. But it was only to my parents...I know, that isn't much better, but saying that...I would have DIED before I would have been disrespectful to anyone else because that would have been letting my parents down. So, I must have not been that much of a disrespectful teen because I cared about what my parents thought...my point is coming, I promise. Oh and side note, love you mom and dad and thanks for putting up with me during "those years."
Last night, Aaron and I were teaching bible class. We love it, we get to be with kids of a different age group from our kids and get to know different people in our church. Aaron was letting them pick out songs and we were all just singing along great. Those kids can sing and have caught the "singing bug" in the past year and I love it. When we started in that class (with several other couples teaching as well) the kids really weren't into singing too much and now I think they would rather sing than have class! We really do enjoy being with the kids in this class, they are a fun group.
We have a newer girl in class. She has been coming here off and on for a few months, but every time she walks in class, it is so evident that she doesn't want to be there. Her body language tells everything and it is of TOTAL disrespect. I can be pretty tolerant. Really, I can, epically when I know that the home situation is different and that her parents are searching. They are trying, they are at church and are setting the example, they just have a pre-teen.
Well, we DON'T have one yet, so dealing with one is different for me and Aaron. I sat there the whole class watching how this girl was "infecting" the girls around her with her bad attitude. Before she came in all the girls were singing and paying attention. By the middle of class, we had lost 4 girls to her attitude. They were passing notes, trying to get out their cell phones (really, do you need it in bible class, girls?) and not participating. Yeah, I had enough. I took the notes, the pens, and was about to take the cell phones, but they put them away. We have been discussing making good decisions in school so I just took off about how they weren't making good decisions right here in bible class and how one persons attitude effects everyone else. I guess the talk worked because everyone was singing and participating by the end of class, but I had just had enough. That or they were just scared...I hope it was the talk....we'll see if we get kicked out of teaching bible class next week or not!
Honestly, if my child was being that disrespectful to another adult, I would want them to tell me about the situation. Should I tell that girls' parents about her or is this just something that I should expect from a kid not even in Jr. High yet? I think they already know but are searching for help...really, I do. But at the same time, she is pretty, the girls think that she is "cool" for some reason, so they want to be like her....AKKK! This is why I'm not in youth ministry anymore. I loved it when we did it years ago, but now that we have been out of working with the teens for so long it is very plain that I don't have a lot of patience for the disrespect. I'm praying about it. Do ya'll have any suggestions for us as teachers and dealing with these types of situations?? HELP!!
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5 comments:
You go Girl! I am proud of you for "snatching" those notes right up! I think I would have to say something to the parents. Kristi and I did that when we were teaching the teenage girls in class. It was pretty tough to do. That girl has ended up being the sweetest thing and very respectful. I am going to tell Ross and Jamie to comment on this one. They have lots of fun stories!
I don't know, Jenn; that is such a tough age for the kid (as well as the parents.) If the parents are really searching, you reminding them that she is disrespectful might only reinforce the idea that she does NOT belong there and that is surely not what God intends . . . even if it would be a teensy (-: bit nicer for the rest of the class! I think that continuing to model respect to her while being consistent with the rules might work better in the long run (even if it is much tougher in the short run.) Know my answer isn't the one you wanted, but I really felt compelled to type. Love that you guys are doing so much to further His kingdom even when the sheep are restless! (-:
You are right, Dyane. I just don't know this couple too much and I'm afraid if they hear something like this they might run and never come back. The kids do promote on June 1 and they will go up to a totally different format when they go to the next class. Thanks for your commment, I really do appreciate it. I think I'm going to consult with some people at church and see what they say, as well.
But, I know if Grace and Sus were being little toots, you would let me know, right Dyane?? he he he
I have to say I agree with Dyane. The parents probably know that their kid is a handful and having the bible class teachers complain about them probably will make them wonder if they are welcomed or not. I always try to handle discipline problems in my classroom myself...for one thing, you want the kids to respect you, not be afraid that you are going to tell their parents. Sounds like you handled it very well. If a kid can't feel loved and accepted at church, he can't feel love and accepted anywhere!
Ditto Dyane.
After spending donkey's years teaching public middle school, accepting the hard to accept exactly the way they are when they come to you is hard, but once they know they are OK with you no matter what, they begin to want to please you by being who they knew they should have been all along. It is when they are at that point that you can truly talk to them and make an impact. The girls you've known longer and have a relationship with them and their parents? Now that's a different kettle of fish - although if you fry those fish too far ahead of serving time (young adulthood), they may become brittle and dried out, too. I find the combined teacher and mother look to be extremely effective, helpful and withering.
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