Heavy heart

I know I've already blogged for today, but I got an e-mail this morning and it is so heavy on my heart right now all I can do is write. My best friend from college is Shellie. We lived together our freshman year and went to Europe together our sophomore year. She and Mike got married our junior year, but they never made me feel like a third wheel. The 2 of them are are so very dear to me. We don't get to see each other much of all. We e-mail, phone and send the occasional letter. But she knows that I love her and would do anything in the world for either one of them.

Shell e-mailed me this morning with news that she went into early labor (she was due in Oct.) Monday night and gave birth to a 1 pound baby boy. His heart beat for 14 minutes and then he went on to be with God. I'm so sad. I'm so extremely sad. I have had 3 healthy babies and my best friend just lost hers. They have a sweet little boy named Adison and he is a joy. I'm so thankful for him and that they have such a wonderful little one. But, how do you deal with these kinds of things? God has given us life and the ability to produce life. I'm not upset with God, whatsoever, I'm just so upset that my friends are hurting so very much. When bad things have happened to us (me and Shell) we can't talk on the phone...we e-mail and we cry together on the computer, but I honestly think if we picked up the phone it would just be another crying session...which sometimes we need again, but this is how we communicate. Blogging is another way that I communicate. It gives me a chance to write out how I am feeling. When I got her e-mail this morning, I cried, held my baby boy, cried some more, took a shower and then cried some more. Sometimes I just don't know how to react. Bad things happen to good people, I know that, it happens to bad people, too. It just hurts when your friends are hurting. But people like Mike and Shellie are the best and I KNOW that they will be okay and they will look straight to God in this time. And for that, I am thankful. I'm praying and that is what I'm going to keep doing.

Keep them in your prayers and all the families out there that are hurting over lost babies.